Its been months since i saw a butterfly
🏋️ Health
This week didn’t start with motivation.
It started with uncertainty.
Last week I mentioned my CT scan and nasal endoscopy, and naturally, the first instinct was panic. When you search anything related to sinus online, it almost feels like the only path forward is surgery. It’s loud, extreme, and immediate.
But this week, I did something different.
Instead of reacting, I paused.
I spoke to people. Real people. Around 15 of them. And what I found broke the illusion. Only a few had actually gone through surgery. Some were happy, yes — breathing better, feeling relieved. But most were living fine without rushing into it.
That changed something in me.
For the first time, I didn’t let fear take the lead.
I chose to wait, observe, and decide consciously.
And honestly, that felt like growth.
At the same time, I watched my family react. They were tense, worried, immediately thinking of solutions. Earlier, I would’ve felt overwhelmed by that energy. But this time, I saw it differently.
That’s just love.
Unfiltered, instinctive, protective love.
The kind that doesn’t calculate returns.
In a world where most things are transactional, that kind of concern stands out.
On the physical side, things are getting sharper.
I stayed consistent in the gym. Not randomly, not emotionally — but structurally. I added more controlled exercises, refined my routine, and started treating it like a system instead of a mood.
I’m currently at 82 kg.
And this number is not just about weight — it’s about control.
I don’t feel like I’m fighting my body anymore. I feel like I’m working with it.
The goal is clear: under 80.
And this time, it doesn’t feel forced. It feels inevitable.
Compared to last week’s movement and travel energy, this week was about stillness with discipline.
And that’s where real change happens.
💻 Work
Work this week didn’t scream progress.
But it moved.
I completed around two minutes of my film, and while that may sound small, I know what it takes to get there. Creative work is never linear. It’s not about hours — it’s about clarity.
And this week, I had enough clarity to move forward.
For the first time, I can see the finish line.
And more importantly, I believe I can reach it.
Alongside that, a new thought started forming —
a LinkedIn discipline system.
Not content for validation.
Not posts for impressions.
But a daily habit of writing one real learning from the day.
Because I’ve started realizing something:
If you don’t express what you’re learning,
you slowly stop valuing it.
Work overall felt like a free-flow state. Not heavy, not intense — but present.
And sometimes, staying present without forcing output is also part of the process.
Compared to last week’s internal build, this week felt like the beginning of external expression.
📖 Learning
This week didn’t give me one lesson.
It gave me a shift.
The Biggest Realisation — Self Talk (P3: Purple Pencil Project Prakruti)
I didn’t expect this to hit the way it did.
At first, “self-talk” sounded like a technique. Something you do. Something new to learn.
But when I actually tried it, I realised something strange:
It didn’t feel new at all.
Because I’ve been doing it my whole life.
We all have.
We constantly talk to ourselves — silently.
We question, doubt, decide, replay, imagine.
https://www.instagram.com/purplepencilproject
But we never notice it consciously.
That’s where everything changes.
Self-talk is not about speaking more.
It’s about becoming aware of the conversation already happening inside you.
And once you become aware…
you stop reacting blindly.
You start pausing.
You start asking:
- Why am I doing this?
- Is this useful?
- Should I continue or stop?
That small pause creates distance between impulse and action.
And that distance?
That’s power.
I don’t know if I’ll follow a structured version of this practice.
But I know one thing now:
Before I act, I want to step back, think, and then move.
Not react.
Respond.
And that alone can change the direction of life.
Other Learnings
This week also reminded me of something through conversations and experiences:
Life is not complicated.
People make it complicated.
I met my childhood friend who is now in the merchant navy.
And listening to his life felt like entering a different reality.
Months at sea.
No weekends.
Same people. Same environment. Same responsibility.
And yet, they build bonds.
They don’t have the luxury to escape each other —
so they either break… or they become one.
And most of the time, they become one.
That made me realize:
When you stay with people long enough,
you don’t remain strangers.
You either become enemies…
or family.
There’s no middle ground.
Another strong perspective came from watching Aankhon Dekhi.
A simple film, but deeply unsettling.
It questions everything — belief, routine, truth, control.
And what stayed with me was this:
The moment you stop thinking for yourself,
you start living someone else’s life.
That line stayed.
☕ Small Wins
This week didn’t have loud wins.
It had real ones.
I made a calm decision about my health.
I stayed consistent in the gym without depending on motivation.
I progressed my film instead of postponing it.
I fixed my RO — small, but responsibility handled.
I started preparing mentally for my friends visiting — not just casually, but with intention.
And one of the most underrated moments —
I went for a late-night cycling ride.
It reminded me of Chandigarh days.
The silence. The air. The movement.
But something felt off.
I rode almost 20 km, but I didn’t feel the same freedom.
And then I realised:
I don’t just love cycling.
I love freedom while cycling.
Still, the company made it worth it.
📚 A Line from a Book (and beyond)
“Life is your journey. Never let others think for you.”
Sometimes, the simplest lines carry the heaviest truth.
🧠 Brain Refreshment
This week was mentally quiet.
Not empty.
Not exciting.
Just… stable.
And that stability revealed something important.
I started noticing my patterns.
How I react.
Where I overgive.
Where I lose control.
Where I become too soft.
Especially with people.
With my friends visiting soon, I caught myself preparing mentally:
Not just for fun —
but for boundaries.
Because I know myself.
I care deeply.
But I can lose structure in that care.
And this phase is teaching me something subtle:
How to stay kind… without becoming weak.
How to stay disciplined… without becoming rigid.
🎶 A Song I’m Listening To
(Currently on Daily Mix — no fixed loop this week)
✍️ A Poem by Me
Nazar se utarte ho, lekin nazar se nahi,
Aankhen tumhari jo bata dein, wo kahin ka barabar nahi,
Jitna main tujhe chahoon, utna main batata nahi,
Par yaad rakhna tumhe, humari yaad tumhe aati bhi nahi.
Translation / Meaning:
You may fade from sight, but never from my vision.
What your eyes express holds a truth words cannot reach.
No matter how deeply I care, I never fully show it.
Yet somehow, I don’t even exist in your memories the same way.
💭 Closing Thoughts
This week won’t look important from the outside.
No big wins.
No big failures.
No dramatic stories.
But internally?
Something shifted.
I didn’t react to fear.
I didn’t rush decisions.
I didn’t lose consistency.
I didn’t ignore my thoughts.
I started listening to myself.
And maybe that’s the beginning of everything.
Because growth is not always loud.
Sometimes, it’s just a quiet moment where you pause…
and finally understand what’s happening inside you.
And once you see that clearly —
you don’t go back.
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