PS: These are not mine!
šļø Health
Health-wise, this week was good on paper, but confusing emotionally. I put on 2 kg, yet I ate healthy. That contradiction itself made me think. At the same time, I couldnāt make it to the gym for four continuous days, and honestly, that felt sad. Not guilty ā just sad. Gym has become more than fitness for me; itās structure, rhythm, and control. Missing it for that long feels like something slipping.
What disturbed me more was sleep. Sundays are usually not āsleep-all-dayā days for me, but for the last two Sundays, I slept like hell. Deep, long, careless sleep. And that triggered questions.
Is my thunder gone?
Am I slipping into comfort?
Am I unconsciously slowing down?
I donāt usually count days or label them ā for me, every day is the same. Thatās how I like it. But then why is this happening? Something is shifting, and I donāt yet know what. Iāll figure it out this week. I have to. Because awareness is the first step before correction.
š» Work
Work had closure and friction ā both.
The music video is completed and shipped. That feels good. Thereās relief in finishing something big. I also worked on a basic spec ad ā nothing special, but it moved the needle.
This week, I had a clear plan: record videos, edit them, and publish them on social. Sunday was the day. But it didnāt happen. And I wonāt lie ā that made me sad. Not angry. Just disappointed. I donāt want to lose the flow Iāve built.
If Iām honest with myself, part of the fear is the editing time. Spending hours editing myself feelsā¦ not worth it sometimes. And that scares me, because as a kid, I had insane enthusiasm to do things my own way. I wanted to be a YouTuber. I wanted to be an influencer. I was consistent for four years. And it didnāt work out.
I think that failure still sits somewhere inside me ā maybe 70% of the reason I hesitate to do things for myself now. Itās strange how childhood disappointments quietly shape adult hesitation. I donāt have a solution yet. But Iām aware. And awareness matters.
š§ Brain Refreshments
I came across this website:
https://pudding.cool/2023/09/invisible-epidemic/
And honestly ā just go experience it. Donāt read about it. Experience it.
It talks about loneliness, social interaction, and how different levels of connection shape a personās life. Itās part theory, part experiment, and highly contradictory. But thatās what makes it powerful. It doesnāt give answers ā it gives perspective. It made me realise that effort itself carries intention, even if outcomes differ.
Praks Birthday! We Went on pickleball spree: I now play acha pickleball, other then that – It really help me with communicate over the new 10 faces man! Hectic job but love to hear stories and be a part of their wins!!
ā Small Wins / What i did?
This week, I went on a shopping spree. Probably the biggest one of my life. I spent my hard-earned money on clothes, chill, and things I genuinely liked ā not needed, liked. I wonāt tell numbers, but this was the first time I bought things purely because they resonated with me.
I went on movie with the new humans i met at the office – nice people remember them from the chrismas party? yeah! cool shit, Avatar Fire and Ash. Whatever the name – Its about the time i spend with them, we shared we bond, thats important!
I donāt want to make this habitual. But I do want to make my life easy enough that weeks like this feel earned. I want to work so hard that enjoying money doesnāt feel like guilt ā it feels like balance.
Another big joy: my brother / best friend is coming from Canada. And you know what that means ā chaos, conversations, memories, and moments. I genuinely canāt wait. This year already feels like itās lining up people, not just plans.
š Learning
I read this:
https://x.com/bryan_johnson/status/2007873111715443086
Four months ago, I read something like this and felt sorted. Disciplined. Sharp. Clear. But after shifting cities and routines, my discipline got disrupted. And now I feel it.
This week felt āwastedā in moments ā not because nothing happened, but because structure slipped. And thatās not okay for me. So hereās the decision: Iām taking ownership of myself again. No excuses.
Iām reducing my screen time back to 1 hour a day. I canāt take this constant distraction. My focus matters too much.
My New Year resolution is only two things:
Focus. Consistency.
Iāll write more about this. A lot more.
š A Line from a Book (and beyond)
From this piece:
https://saurabhgarg.com/in2026-i-will/
āLife shrinks or expands according to oneās courage.ā
That line stayed with me. Itās simple. Brutal. Honest.
Next on my watch/read list:
š¶ A Song Iām Listening To
Fred again.. ā Rooftop Live (Arunās Roof, London)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MAzUT1YhWE
Guysā¦ this man.
I donāt even know how many times Iāve played this. Thereās something raw, emotional, and grounding about it. Just give it a shot.
āļø A Poem by Me
Tut kar bikhra hoon,
ya toh judunga,
ya phir utha kar,
kahin aur reh lunga.
Translation / Meaning:
I am broken and scattered ā
either I will put myself back together,
or I will pick myself up
and learn to live somewhere else, as someone new.
For me, this poem is about choice after collapse. Not hopelessness ā possibility.
š Closing Thoughts
This week wasnāt loud. It wasnāt dramatic. But it was revealing. It showed me where discipline slipped, where fear still sits, and where comfort quietly creeps in. At the same time, it reminded me that Iām aware ā and awareness gives power.
Iām not done.
Iām not stuck.
Iām just recalibrating.
And recalibration is part of growth.
We move.
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